Tuesday, July 25, 2006
"Sunshine this, Sunshine that!" We moved Holli from East Central University to Cameron University in Lawton, where Nathan had been there 2 years and was heavily involved in Cameron Campus Ministries. The university had a huge Southern Baptist presence on campus, and CCM was a service for others who wanted fellowship, who attended other churches. Nathan was president and also in charge of building the organization's web presence. 
The year before, Nathan was elected president as well, and he also joined the American Indian Club, to reinvigorate it. Maybe he met Sunshine there, or maybe she just started attending CCM. Suddenly our Cameron students had another mother, and we had another daughter. Sunshine's mother had terminal brain cancer. Without tribal help, their family finances would have been disasterous, ... and we had a wedding to plan for, knowing that Sunshine's mother would need plenty of help. Only the flowers for the altar were professionally supplied. The rest of the wedding would have to be catered by friends, and as we drove down, I had no idea just how much of an intregal part our family would be.
As an Oklahoma Licensed Beautician, Drema was in charge of all the brides' maids' hair, which included Holli and herself. Do they look ready for an ensemble of maids?
It didn't take me long to realize that I was totally in charge of the photography and with digital technology, a wedding can save a bundle on professional pictures. How about, "Zilcho!" - with an instant choice of pictures for the wedding book and a wedding CD that can be reproduced and sent to as many cousins, aunts, in-laws and out-laws as desired.
This becomes a community and congregational project. Here, Marcella takes on, yet, another hat as she helps decorate the reception room for the bride and groom, Don and Sunshine. The help was sparse, though, so double and triple hats are part of the deal when you take part in a small society, like Cache, which is about the same size of Newkirk. Ask A.Cec what that means.
The punch table needs some attention. Non-alcohol, of course. Even though you see no hats on Marcella, believe me, they are there, and she is a professional hat wearer. Notice that Sunshine's mother is not shown. Cancer treatments take a toll on ones ability to do much in a given day. Everyone is well aware of the fact that Sunshine's mother's cancer is terminal.
The amazing thing about this wedding, was that I knew the groom's mother very, very well. I had grown a beard, and she didn't recognize me at all; but I knew her.
"I cannot believe this!" I said, as her and her, new husband came in. This was just before the above picture was taken.
I didn't give her a chance to say anything, and proceeded to give her a big, looong, shoulder to shoulder hug. Now, though she looks Caucasion, LaDonna is Choctaw, and, as the District Wide Drug Grant Coordinator, I had hired her personally to do drug counseling and programming for our students in the high school, which lasted 3 years.
LaDonna was wonderful. The students loved her, and she loved the students. She saw me as her boss and would write up a report at the end of each year.
I could feel her pull away, as I hugged her, and, then, ... and, then, ... LaDonna realized who I was. It hadn't been 2 years before when she came back up to the high school and had me sign some papers so she would qualify as a Certified Public Counselor. Goes to prove, you just never know who you are helping, when you are a part of a community.
Notice that Nathan is sitting there with a friend. Even though, American Indians and African Americans, generally, choose to worship in separate buildings, weddings and funerals bring commonality to human beings.
Notice Sunshine's maids-in-waiting, all appear to be Caucasians. She is the only Indian there. Could be wrong, but I know the last young lady, and the second young lady have no American Indian blood running through their veins, and they consider Sunshine as a sister!! Our kids have always chosen good friends.It's time for a wedding, don't you think?
The entire court. This was my time to shine. For the next 20 minutes, I had the full and undivided attention, as we took picture after picture of what each side of the family would need.
The guests, waited in the educational wing, which was decorated with the WEDDING CAKE and the groom's cake, a tradition that holds in most of our US weddings. Can you guess what the grooms' cake represents?
It's a basketball in school colors. While Sunshine is from Cache, he graduated from Indiahoma, a hop-skip and a jump to the north. After the cut, they feed each other, and then, ... and then the toast.
Once done, everyone else is served, and no one has left yet, and you will see why.
Now, this part of the wedding is over. The wedding now becomes a celebration of community. The worship center has been quickly transformed into a serving area and food is brought in by all those who are attending. Much of the food is specially prepared, Indian recipes, passed down from generation to generation. And look who is doing all the serving. You guessed it. Marcella took care of the whole thing. She made sure all got what they wanted and everyone had plenty to eat. She is a professional at this part. I even got to eat.
To make it a done-deal, the minister has to have the Certificate of Marriage signed, and then needs a witness to sign it.
An important tradition! She, who catches the bridal bouqet will be the next to wed. The bride turns around backwards and tosses the flowers over her head, where all the non-married, eligible young ladies have an opportunity to catch it.
Sunshine no longer has her old name. She now has a new name, and Don has a new wife. But wait, what is that written on the front of the car. Maybe they ran out of white Sparky. FUMBI??? Maybe it should have been FUMBLE? You think?
Of course there are cans behind the car as they head out to their destination. But there is one more thing to take care of.
Now it is time for The Indian Way. Marcella is honored for all her work, with an Indian blanket. No one else at the wedding received one. Of course, Marcella didn't expect anything, but that is THE INDIAN WAY, a tradition that is passed on at pow wows, Indian gatherings, and, of course, weddings. Is this cool or what, to live in INDIAN COUNTRY, AMERICA? And we are thankful that Sunshine's mother is smiling down from heaven on the new relationship.
(c) Dale Hill (2006)
I'm standing behind the pulpit. You can see Sunshine's father and mother, at the far left. Her mother has a nice hat on, to cover her hairless head from her fight against cancer. What a precious opportunity we have to make a difference in someones life.
The entire court. This was my time to shine. For the next 20 minutes, I had the full and undivided attention, as we took picture after picture of what each side of the family would need.
The guests, waited in the educational wing, which was decorated with the WEDDING CAKE and the groom's cake, a tradition that holds in most of our US weddings. Can you guess what the grooms' cake represents?
It's a basketball in school colors. While Sunshine is from Cache, he graduated from Indiahoma, a hop-skip and a jump to the north. After the cut, they feed each other, and then, ... and then the toast. Once done, everyone else is served, and no one has left yet, and you will see why.
Now, this part of the wedding is over. The wedding now becomes a celebration of community. The worship center has been quickly transformed into a serving area and food is brought in by all those who are attending. Much of the food is specially prepared, Indian recipes, passed down from generation to generation. And look who is doing all the serving. You guessed it. Marcella took care of the whole thing. She made sure all got what they wanted and everyone had plenty to eat. She is a professional at this part. I even got to eat.
To make it a done-deal, the minister has to have the Certificate of Marriage signed, and then needs a witness to sign it.
An important tradition! She, who catches the bridal bouqet will be the next to wed. The bride turns around backwards and tosses the flowers over her head, where all the non-married, eligible young ladies have an opportunity to catch it.
Sunshine no longer has her old name. She now has a new name, and Don has a new wife. But wait, what is that written on the front of the car. Maybe they ran out of white Sparky. FUMBI??? Maybe it should have been FUMBLE? You think?
Of course there are cans behind the car as they head out to their destination. But there is one more thing to take care of.
Now it is time for The Indian Way. Marcella is honored for all her work, with an Indian blanket. No one else at the wedding received one. Of course, Marcella didn't expect anything, but that is THE INDIAN WAY, a tradition that is passed on at pow wows, Indian gatherings, and, of course, weddings. Is this cool or what, to live in INDIAN COUNTRY, AMERICA? And we are thankful that Sunshine's mother is smiling down from heaven on the new relationship.
(c) Dale Hill (2006)
